September 2024 Summery

Here we are, nine months down, 3 hellish months left of the year. This was the month I started my first semester of College. I want to start with talking about College because since the first day of College I instantly knew that it wasn’t for me. I want to drop out of College but I feel that window has passed for one big reason. If I drop out I have to forfeit all my financial aid, and I would owe a grand total of $4,792.00. I do not have that amount of money as of now and even more so because I had to quit my job to go to College full time, which I now regret. What I would like to do at this moment is Drop College and go back to work, but because of finances, I can’t right now. It’s left me feeling really upset and depressed because I can’t get myself out when I so desperately want to get out. The whole reason I went to College was from Pressure I felt from teachers, my high school guidance counselor, and my mother (who wanted us all to go to College). Because of College I feel I've put myself in a cage that’s hard to break out from.

As I’ve stated in past updates, I’ve been trying to get back into drawing and Art, but motivation has always been a huge challenge for me. I’ve also felt pressure to draw lately because of one of my College classes that requires me to draw in a sketchbook, which I’ve had little motivation to do. I did make some drawings in the past month, but all but one were digital, and were not made for School. The lone Traditional Sketch I made in the last month was for school and in that little Sketchbook. I’ve felt a bit self-conscious with my art lately and I don’t even have a character to use that represents me. I also can’t draw my favorite animal (cat) in a way I like at all, which just makes me frustrated when I try and draw anything. The only thing I can draw okay is a Pokémon, [Male] Meowstic. But the thing is I want to draw other things, but everytime I attempt to, it just looks horrible to me, and that kind of thing just kills my motivation to draw at all.

My favorite thing to do all this past month is going Bowling. That is my favorite thing to do right now and I wish I could do it more, but because I don’t have a license and a car of my own I’m constrained by that. My games tend to vary wildly because my  bowls are very inconsistent. Some games I’ll score 156 and other games I’ll score a 74. The main thing that I have to work on in Bowling is my spare game. I am HORRIBLE at hitting Spares. I am trying to use some new techniques but it’s going rather slow right now. A lot of the time I will just barely miss the pin I’m hitting, or I’ll make a common mistake for me, release the ball too early or too late and hit the gutter before it reaches the 2⁄3 's mark. Also I’ve noticed that the longer I play, the more the ball just goes dead straight instead of the usual path of hooking left to hit the pocket (pins 1 and 3), it really messes up my game but I can’t do anything about it.

I have been really invested in Minecraft again. Over the past month I have been building a city in my main Minecraft World (Old versions of that world are available for download on my website). It started as just a web of roads but now it is the type of city that 10yr old me could only dream of making. The exteriors of all the buildings are complete but I’m still working on the Interiors of all the Buildings (Just finished City Hall today). In terms of games Minecraft will always be the one I go back to. I’ve barely touched all my other games except Cities: Skylines and Five Nights at Freddy’s: Into the Pit. The main reason is I’m just not playing much video games anymore. I have a lot on my plate in real life and there’re not many games these days that are interesting to buy and play anymore (my trust with preordering was broken with Cities Skylines 2). Minecraft has always been my go-to game ever since I was 6 years old so it always holds a special place in my heart and the thing with Minecraft compared to other games is there is no ending, and I can always find new ways to make Minecraft fun compared with Hearts of Iron IV for example. Right now my favorite games are Minecraft, Chess, and KenKen.

There is one more thing I want to do but I don’t know where to start, making videos, specifically short films centered around Satire. I have the Adobe Suite (mainly for and from College) and I want to use it for personal uses that aren’t Educational based but I’m having trouble finding a starting place for that.

Thanks for reading. Same time next month?

Sincerely,

gamerisboring